So I applied for graduation a few days ago. I'm getting all nervous already. I don't know what I am going to do after I graduate. I have NO idea. I don't know what kind of job I want. I have no idea where I want to live... I don't want to have to move home, but some days it really seems like that might be happening. I just wish I knew. I envy the people who know exactly what they are doing in a few short months. I just keep praying that some kind of job comes along for me. So at least that I can feel alright about.
I have just been walking around campus this past week realizing everything that I'm going to miss. I mean I'm going to miss Ann Arbor in general, but there are things that even staying in the City of Ann Arbor couldn't offer me after I graduate. The other night I was at the library studying and doing homework when I started to realize that I won't have to do this much longer. It was an exciting feeling, but all at the same time I felt like I was really going to miss it. It was so quiet and warm and perfect. At that moment, I loved the Duderstadt. When I graduate I won't have to go back there, I won't have to spend evenings staring blankly at homework hoping that if i sit there for 2 more hours I will just figure it out.
I have no idea what life after college will bring me. I'm so scared of it too. I wish someone would tell me what is going to happen with my life, but right now I guess I'm going to make the best of what I have left here at the University of Michigan. I will prepare myself for the good bye in May and I will hopefully prepare myself for everything to come.
I need to keep telling myself that I am ONLY 22 years old. I still have a LOT of life a head of me and a LOT of experiences to go through. This transition to the "real world" is just one of them. I don't know why I take life so seriously all the time and feel like everything is "the end of the world", life is MINE and I should do what makes me feel good and happy. Sad thing is, I don't know what that is? I just don't want to have to struggle through the the few months after college.
I guess I will keep you updated on my life and where it's going.
I'm just really going to miss the University of Michigan. These have really been the best years of my life (this far of course) and I guess I'm happy and sad to put them behind me.
-JRA
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