Post Grad

Life hasn't changed yet. I still have no job, I'm still looking, I still don't know what I'm doing with my future. I'm still scared to death. I can't wait to know what I'm doing with my future. But for the time being, I'm moving back to Flint-town USA and living with my wonderful parents. I really am thankful that they are willing to take me back. I know people who are in the same situation as me, except their parents aren't willing to have their college graduate come back and living with them. So I'm very, very, thankful that my parents are letting me.

With that being said however, I do not want to live there a long time. I do not want to become a burden and really I want to be on my own. After graduating college I should be able to take care of myself and be on my own. It's getting scary though because I have no way of supporting myself. I just really need a job and I don't even know where to look any more. I have very very little experience, and it seems EVERY job that I've seen in the past month requires 5 to 7 years of experience. I apply for these jobs and then hear nothing. I never expect to hear anything because I'm sure the second they take a look at my resume they realize that I'm a very recently college graduate with nothing to offer them... (except my newly gained electrical engineering knowledge). It's a tough world.

I have to move out of my apartment in a week. I haven't started packing. I REALLY need to. It's going to be no fun packing up all of my belongings. There are too many of them. I am probably just going to end up just throwing a ton of stuff away and giving stuff away to the dumpster scavengers that come out of the woodwork come move out time here in Ann Arbor. Its creepy! haha. I'm going to miss my apartment a LOT!!! This place has been home to me for over a year and I've really settled in here more than I have anywhere else that I've lived during my time here in Ann Arbor. :(

I have 3 exams that separate me from being a college graduate. 2 of them are on Friday and then 1 of them is next Wednesday. It's really getting hard to study with the sun shining brightly, the spring breeze blowing in the open windows of my apartment and the MILLIONS of things running through my mind. It's soo hard. I don't think my procrastination has ever been this intense.

well until next time, take care.

-JRA

I honestly do not know what I want to do with my life right now. Part of me wants a job, part of me wants to go to grad school, and yet another part wants to be come a web designer. I'm not sure if I could get into the grad program that I want to do, could probably do CS, but I don't know if i wanna be a CS person. If I become a web designer then I feel like I waisted the last for years (and not to mention a shit ton of money) earning a degree that isn't helping me in the least. I could have just became a web developer right out of High school. And getting a "real" job, well that isn't going so well.

I just feel like such a waste. I know that I'm not alone. Barley anyone I know that is graduating this semester has a job. So it's not like I'm the only person that has no job. But I just feel like by now I should have gotten at least ONE offer. I have nothing. I understand the economy is bad, but it just seems like there has to be some sort of job out there. I guess I'm just not looking hard enough. I'm also quite hard on myself about not having a job. I keep losing confidence in myself and it's making the job search process even worse. It's just very discouraging applying for 30 different positions a week and hearing nothing. What is wrong with me?

I have to move home after college. There is really no other option. Tony doesn't make enough money to support both of us. I make no money and really soon I'm going to have to start paying back all my student loans.... I am just so stressed.

I don't know what I want either. It just makes me ill thinking about the future right now. College has been so easy. I know that each semester I will start classes, I will stay up late doing homework, and I will be consumed with all the activities and projects that college has supplied me. Now I'm graduating, I have no plans other than moving home, and I just feel so lost. I have NEVER in my life been so unsure of my future. I've always had a plan, and now I'm just here and soon I'll be there, I just have no clue where there is, and that scares me more than anything.

I suppose in the end, looking back, this situation will have made me a LOT stronger. I will have went through this rough spot in my life and I will have made it. Made it to what, I have no idea. But I do know that if I can pull myself through all of this confusing, I will be able to look back and feel better about this situation. Right now, however, it's tough and I'm scared.