Post Grad

Michigan game with my dad this morning was a lot of fun. My dad came down at like 9am. We left by 9:30 and headed down to the stadium. It was a noon game. We sat further up than my real seats because it was easier to see that way. My seats are sweet cause the are row 2, but it is sort of hard to see for me because I am so short and there are TALL people in front of me. :( Michigan ended up losing. Sad.

After the game I went to Swartz Creek with my dad. It was nice to see my family. Hung out with the dogs and talked with my mom. I am getting nervous for my Stryker interview next Friday. I just really hope that I get the job. I don't really know what to expect?

Well I am going to hang out with my family and have some dinner.
-JRA

I had a lot of homework to get done last night. I was up late and scrambling to get it done because I didn't start early enough. I really do not like doing that, but I've been procrastination a lot these last few days and it really caught up with me last night. I hate procrastination and I want to stop. Being up last last night made it really hard to get up early this morning to go turn in the homework i worked so hard on. Luckily I made it to class on time.

After class I came home and had some yummy lunch. At 2:30 I had to go give a tour. That was super easy. Almost NO talking. Just hung out and listened to other people talk. and I got paid for it. Pretty sweet deal.

Now I'm home. Getting some more work done (it never ends i swear). I have cleaned and made some dinner. Tomorrow with my dad should be fun. Well I better get some sleep. I'm tired.

-JRA

Thrusday's are honestly the most boring day of the week. I really wish that instead of having class late in the day, I had it early. That way I'd have to be up and would end up getting a lot of work done after class. But I have class late, I sleep in and get nothing done. I suppose if I had more motivation I would actually get up early and get work done. But that never happens. It sucks.

Tomorrow I have my parents weekend tour all afternoon. It will be nice because all I have to do is like transport people from place to place and I don't have to give a "real" tour. I like those kind of tours because then I don't have to do a lot of talking. As much as I enjoy giving tours, there are days when I just do not feel like it. And tomorrow will probably be one of those days.

Also, I have a ton of 452 homework to get done. I really need to start studying for my interview. I do not want to look like an idiot. They will not hire me if that is the case. UG.

Later
-JRA

I had to give a presentation in EECS452 this morning. It was no big deal. My group just had to explain how we are going to do everything we propose to do in our project. We really need to start to work on our project because at our meeting last night we sort of realized how difficult it is really going to be. I'm nervous but very excited for the project. I just can't believe I am already a senior and already doing my final project. It just doesn't seem real these days.

I'm nervous for my interview next Friday with Stryker! :( I hope that I do not screw up and I hope that I get the job!. That would be amazing. I don't want to get my hopes up too high though. Blah.

I am excited for Saturday. My dad is going to the game with me. It should be fun. I don't know if we will win, but it will be fun.

I need to go to sleep. Good night.
-JRA

Since the lab is still broken/under maintenance from the power outage on the engineering campus that happened last week, my clean-room class was canceled this morning. I love working in the clean room so I was sort of sad. I was happy because I didn't have to get up really early, but I was sad because I do enjoy the work we do in there. Also I always feel very motivated after the lab so I always get a TON of work done if I go over to the library after lab. So instead of getting a ton done today like I usually do on Tuesday's, I slept in and felt lazy.

I had a meeting today for my senior design project. We got quite a bit of things figured out and wrote our proposal for the project that's due this week. It was a good meeting.

I found out that my on-site interview with Stryker is on Friday the 13th from 9:15 AM until 1:45 PM. It's with 6 different managers also. Talk about being nervous. Holy crap. There are 4 women that I am interviewing with, however. Pretty cool.

I got quite a bit of homework done after my meeting. It felt good.

Now I just got home and I have some Chicken Pasta Alfredo cooking. It smells good, and I think it's done.

-JRA

I had no desire to do anything school related today. I have SO much to get done in these next few weeks. I have about 6 weeks of the semester left and I have a LOT of work. My entire senior design project needs to start and needs to get done in these next 6 weeks. I really hope that our project works and is cool. That would be exciting. I am just praying that we can get it done in ample time and do not have to be scrambling to finish things on December 9th (the night before the Design Expo/Due date of the project). It's going to be quite a bit of work.

Tony had to leave for work this morning. I hate it when he has to leave for the week. It's just sad because I know it's going to be a long week without him. I just don't like not being able to see him and kiss him good night. And plus I worry about him while he's at work. After being shot at last summer, it's hard thinking that he's safe at work. I just try not to dwell on it. Really that would make me crazy. So most of the time I try to think about all the good he's doing and try to block out all the bad that could be happening. It works for the most part. I just can't wait till Saturday morning when he comes back.

I have a lot of motivation to do school work right now. It's weird. Perhaps I will go write part of my lab report that's due soon. Later.
-JRA

Tony and I decided to come back to Ann Arbor last night after the wedding. We went and watched movies at our friend Lauren's house. It was a fun evening. We didn't go out because we figured everywhere would be packed and didn't feel like trying to beat the crowds and such. It was a very nice night in with friends and movies. :)

Today was very nice and relaxing. We have been engaged for one year today. It's really hard to believe that it's been a year already. Time is flying sooo fast. We pretty much laid around for the better part of the day. We had to go to Borders :). Got some coffee and looked at Magazines. It was fun. Went shopping at Urban. Got a sweet wallet for five dollars.

We had dinner at pizza house. Tony and I got fruity drinks! :) He told me we were lame. But I love our lameness. We didn't get carded. First time for me. I'm 22 years old and I get carded even at rated R movies. So it was crazy that our waiter didn't even thing twice about carding us. haha. I suppose I'm getting old? OH NO!

Tony is now doing laundry. I'm putting away the groceries and getting things ready for the week that starts tomorrow. BLAH!

Good night
-JRA

Tony and I went to a Halloween Wedding today. It was very different. I wish it would have been warmer outside (the wedding was outdoors) because it was so cold I could hardly have fun with the uniqueness of the wedding. Instead I was freezing and wondering when it was going to be over so we could go inside and warm up. Really took away from everything. It was interesting to see all the costumes and things.

Tony went as a character from Ghost Busters.

I went as the pink nightmare from A Christmas Store: (Ralphie in the pink bunny costume he gets from his aunt)

Not an eventful day. I had to give a tour at 1:30. It went well and got over quickly. Luckily it's been pretty warm out these past few tours I've given. I am not really looking forward to winter tours. I hate walking in and out of the cold and never wanting to take my coat off even if I'm super hot. Winter tours are the worst.

After giving my tour I went home and packed some stuff for the weekend. Tony came home and got me. We headed up to Swartz Creek. it was nice to see my family. The puppy is getting so big! She's super cute! :)

I do not have any clue what Tony and I are going to do tonight back here in our hometown. Sometimes when we come home, it's like we've never even left and we are still 17 years old. It's a great feeling, a eerie but great feeling. Sometimes we will be sitting on my parents couch and I will honestly forget that the last 4 years we've been gone and things have changed so much. It's nice, sometimes, to go back and remember the times when life was different. However, I think I like it better now. Actually, I know I do.

-JRA

I am feeling a lot better today. Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I may need to go to UHS and see if I had H1N1. Who knows, I really could have had it. But I didn't have a fever and I'm pretty sure that you HAVE to have one if you have H1N1. Well, according to all the emails i've been getting from the University Health System. O well, I'm getting better and hopefully I haven't infected too many souls. I stayed home as much as I possibly could.

I had class at 4:30 pm. That class makes me just want to jump in front of a fast moving train. It is boring and I just feel like "who cares" most of the time. I don't even plan on opening my own business and I don't care about copyrights and patents because I doubt that I'll ever be in the position to need something like that. Of course there is a possibility that I could need that and I suppose that the University wouldn't have incorporated the class into my requirements if it didn't serve some purpose... I guess time will let me know if any of that information will be relevant to the remainder of my life. (remainder is such a depressing word).

Now I am home. Tomorrow I have to give a tour and then I'm going home because I have to go to a wedding tomorrow. yes a Halloween wedding!!! I even HAVE to wear a costume. ha

-JRA

I didn't have lecture this morning. Only had 1 class. But lots of studying to do. Went to 423. I haven't been feeling good since Sunday and today was by far the worst. I just feel like someone hit me with a semi-truck and all I want to do is go to sleep. BLAH! I feel gross.

After class I went and studied with some people from my 452 class. We didn't get a ton of studying done, mostly just making fun of people and laughing. I really shouldn't study with people. It never goes well and we always end up off topic and laughing. Stupid Senioritis! :(

The exam was SUPER long. There was one question that I didn't even finish. I felt HORRID the entire exam too. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and get out of that stupid, hot, stinky exam room and go back to my clean apartment and climb into my comfy bed and fall asleep.

I just now got home and I am getting ready to just pass out. I do not have to be up tomorrow until 4:30 pm. I will get up before that, but just knowing that I have no responsibilities until then is a great feeling.

Good night.
JRA

I wasn't able to go to cleanroom lab today because I was sick. I would have died if I had to be in that lab today because my nose like won't stop running and my brain hurts because my sinuses are like infected. GROSS. SO i didn't go. Slept a little bit longer.

I went to the gEECS office to do some studying. I have an exam tomorrow for EECS 452. I feel much better about everything right now. I went over all the practice exams and feel good about the concepts that we've supposedly been studying in that class. That class just sort of doesn't follow any rhyme or reason at all. Weird.

Other than that I didn't really do much else. Came home and now I'm going to get some rest before another long, long day tomorrow.

-JRA

I do not like Monday's. For many reasons actually. One Tony goes back to Flint for the week. Two it's my longest day on the face of the earth. And three, it's just Monday! :)

Felt even worse today. I think I'm getting a cold. My entire face feels full. I know that's really gross, but that's how I feel. So that made Today EVEN BETTER. UG

Today was my mom's birthday. Gave her a call. I know I sounded dumb because i cannot talk like a normal person because I cannot breathe like a normal person.

Had class, has lab, had tons of studying to get done, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep.

I am now going to get to bed. I'm feeling pretty gross.

I woke up this morning feeling sort of crappy. As the day progressed I started to feel better. I'm hoping it was just dinner or something that made me sick feeling. Hopefully.

We went to Target. Got some Lights for my living room. It needed something. It's so bland. Then we ran across the street to Meijer to buy some groceries. I got some yummy Sushi. YUM.

At 2 pm I had a review session for EECS 452. I have an exam in that class on Wednesday. I dont' know what to expect at all. That class is sort of weird.

I came home once that was done. Tony and I spent some time together. He had some studying to do for his class. So I just surfed around on the internet while he did that. I made dinner and he did the laundry. I love our Sunday nights. They are so cute and wonderful.

I need to get some sleep. Long day tomorrow.
-JRA

I love Saturdays. Especially when Tony and I can lay in bed for a long time and do not have any obligations to get to. We didn't have a football game to go to today. We sold our tickets to Olga. So she's there. Sort of nice because it was really cold and rainy today.

We watched a movie and some TV. We made BLT's for dinner. I was getting the lettuce ready. it wasn't the best head of lettuce. Sort of brown in places. So i decided to cut it in half. There was a HUGE worm inside of it. It scared me to death and grossed me out a lot! I decided that it was best to get rid of the lettuce and have BET's. Instead of the L's we made some eggs and put them on the sandwhich. It was SO good. Yummy.

Now I've getting ready to go clean up the dishes. I hate doing dishes. But since Tony cooked, I suppose I will do them. I always end up doing the dishes, even if I cook. haha. After dishes I think we might put in another movie and call it a night.

Possibly tomorrow we'll do something more productive. :)

-JRA

Worked on a lot of 452 today in the lab with Kevin. We got all of our report done for lab 5. I can't wait to be done with the lab for that class. It's so much work. We have a lab report, prelab and homework assignments all due every single week. It sucks and takes up way to much of my time. I am thankful that I'm only taking 12 credits. Otherwise life would be much worse.

I missed Tony a lot tonight. Friday nights suck a lot with out him down here. Also I didn't have to work today so I had a lot more down time. Don't really have homework so tomorrow will be fun. We don't have a football game to go to tomorrow cause we sold our tickets to Olga. So we can have a very cuddly day tomorrow. I cannot wait.

Now i am just reading blogs and drinking tea. I've really started to drink a lot more tea lately. I love it. It's so warm and mmm. I love it. I think tonight is going to be a fun night. I'm going to catch up on some TV shows, and after that I am going to do some writing.

Will write later.

It was really nice to sleep in today. Yesterday honestly took all of my energy and there would be NO way I could have gotten up before 10 am this morning.

I really didn't have much to do today. Tony was here. We hung out. Watched some movies and some TV. I didn't got to my EECS 496 class because it's SOO boring and a big waste of time.

I haven't heard anything back from Stryker today. I didn't really expect to. Most people that I've been reading about online said that it takes about 2 to 3 days to hear back from them. Since mine's probably going to include the weekend, I think I'll probably hear back Monday or Tuesday if I made the cut.

I really think that it'd be awesome if I passed. Seems like most people that try don't. Can't wait to just know. I want a job so bad. I am soooo nervous that I won't find a job. I'll graduate and have no idea what I'm doing with my life. To some people that would be awesome and exciting, but I'm a very structured person and I always NEED to know what I'm doing in the future. This is becoming more and more of a reality as the time passes. I'm so scared and so anxious.

-JRA

I'm pretty sure today was the longest day of my life.

First off I had class early this morning. Well early in the sense that I stayed up too late last night and it was difficult getting up at 9:30 am. Class from 10:30 to 12:30. I had an hour to study and make my reference sheet for the exam.

At 1:30 I had my 423 exam. It wasn't that bad. I think I did pretty well on it. That lasted till 3:00.

I came home after my exam and got on the computer to just refresh my memory with the type of questions that the Gallup Profile for stryker had. That went well. Did that for about an hour and a half and then I just drank some tea and tried to stay calm while I waited for the interviewer to call.

At 4:45 the call came. Answered my phone and then proceeded to answer about 150 questions that assessed my personality and my personal talents. The process was very tiring. I finished the "test" in about 40 minutes. The lady initially told me it would take an hour. So I was suprised when she told me that I had answered all of the questions. At the end of the interview the lady told me that she really liked my answers and that she was going to talk with Stryker tomorrow about my results.

I really hope that what she said is a good sign. I am so nervous that this is going to be my last step. :( I've read so much about the Stryker interview process and this step seems to be the one that weeds the most people out. It sucks. I answered all the questions honestly and I suppose that if I don't get it then I'm not a good fit for the company. If that is the case then I don't know why I'd want to waste anymore of my time or the companies time realizing that I didn't like it there. So over all I really think this step in the interview process is necessary and a good tool.

I just pray for a call back! :)

I'm going to sleep
-JRA

Tony came over early this morning. I missed him a lot. We cuddled together. Then got ready an went shopping. We went to a few different places.

I got my hair cut yesterday. The lady took quite a bit off, about 4 or 5 inches. It feels and looks SOOO much better. I love it.

I pretty much spent the whole day with Tony. I don't know what my life would be like if he weren't part of it. I suppose I just won't think about that.

At 7:30 my dad came home and we headed to Ann Arbor. There was a HUGE traffic jam. I just got home like 10 minutes ago.

Now I'm cranking music, drinking tea and studying my butt off for tomorrow's exam. I really did slack this study break. Probably shouldn't have went home. But i had a lot of fun! :)

Going to go study till I pass out!

-JRA

Tony had to work a 48 so I had the whole day to myself. Well sort of. My family was gone until about 2 pm and then they came home from school/work. When they got home I spent some time with them. It was nice. I studied for my 423 exam and read about what to expect for my Gallup Profile Interview. My mom and I went to Joann's to get some fabric an stuff. I am going to make another purse. A fall color one.

I am super nervous for this next interview with Stryker. I really, really want to get a job with them. Seems like I'd fit in well with the company culture and their products are pretty impressive, but most of all they create things that are really going to make a huge impact in people's lives. Other companies that I could work for don't do that. Take for example, some consumer electronics company... no one REALLY needs those things and most of them don't do anything special but entertain us,(like displaying images that melt our brains), but Stryker makes things that really HELP people. I suppose that's what I want. Deep down I DO care about people and I DO want to help them. Seems like a fitting place for me... I don't have to directly help people, but I know I'm making an impact. :)

Well I feel like going to work on a new sewing project with my mom.

-JRA

Sunday's have become my favorite day of the week. Today was fun. I went with my mom to JoAnn's because she was buying a new sewing machine. It is so nice. I really hope that she enjoys it because she was like freaking out to buy it because it was $300. We got it back to the house and got it all set up. Helped her thread it and stuff. We played around with all the different stitch settings. While my mom made dinner I started to make a purse. We finished it together. It's big, but I really like it. It's green! Pretty!. Well I'm really sleepy.

Good night
-JRA

Tony came down this morning. We hung out for a while and decided not to go to the game because he was super tired, it was really really cold outside, an I wanted to cuddle with him. I love him so much. I can't even begin to explain it to you. We cuddled. He nappe. I got all my stuff ready to go home for fall break. We ventured home to creek after a while and got home at around 6:30 pm. Pretty much just hung out at my parents house. It was nice. I always like going home... well sometimes.

I'm not sure what I'm doing this break. Mostly studying for the up coming exams I have after I get back to Ann Arbor. I also need to formulate some plans about my 452 project. Not sure what's going on for that. Whatever.

I think I'm just going to go get some sleep. REALLY tired.

later
-jra

I had class at 10:30 this morning. It was a pretty big waste of time. That lecture is almost pointless to attend because the lecture slides are very detailed and all that happens during class time is the professor READS the slides. She doesn't even make any comments about it. She just straight up reads it. WORD FOR WORD. It is certainly something that I can do in my own time and believe me, I would LOVE to be able to sleep in until 11 every Monday Wednesday and Friday. haha. But since I am paying quite a bit of money to attend this fine school, I woke myself up and went to class. It was like story time, except this story isn't funny, or sad or happy, its a boring mix of DFT's and their Fast algorithms and numerous other complicated mathematic transforms that I don't really care about.

After class was finally over, I went to the library to do some reading for my EECS 423 class. I love that class. The material is so interesting and I want to do that for the rest of my life. Too bad I've realized this quite late in my college career and I only have one semester left. :( I still am considering taking 425 next semester. Even though its ANOTHER MDE and I don't HAVE to do that to myself.... we'll see how I feel at the end of this first senior design project.

At 1:30 I had to be at work to give a tour. Of course it was raining, so that meant that everyone on my tour was silent and miserable. No one asked a single question. I was worn out by the end of the tour because I had just spoke for straight for the last 1.5 hours and cracked myself up over my lame ass jokes in attempt to get a SOUND out of my group. It was very very sad.

Now It's Friday night and I don't really have much to do. Tony is coming down tomorrow. We are going to attend the game and then after the game we are going to head back to Swartz Creek for the nice long Fall Break! :) YAY. I love fall break. I like Thanksgiving Break even more because after that break there's only like 2 weeks of winter classes left.

I cannot believe how quickly this semester is going. Senior year is going to be over SO fast. And then what.... REAL LIFE? OMG

Night
-JRA

I didn't have a Segway meeting today. Had a meeting with my 452 group. We met with the professors so they could give us some feedback on the project proposal that we've been making. They pretty much told us that our project is going to be hard and that we have quite a bit of work to do. We want to have a cool user interface with graphics and stuff. So since James and I know VHDL pretty well, we are in charge of all that. OMG! haha It should be cool though. I mean that stuff is all pretty neat and it will make our project look snazzy. All the hard part(DSP) will be done on the DSK in C coding. I'm not so HOT when it comes to coding in C but a few of the people in the group are so they are going to work on it. SWEET.

After the meeting we all hung out in the lab for a while getting some stuff done. At 4:30 we all had EECS 496 class. That class is a large waste of time and I don't really understand why I have to take it? It really doesn't make any sense? And it seems like it's mostly geared toward Software people and that's NOT me. ha.

This afternoon I set up my Gallup Profile Interview for Stryker. I did well on my initial interview so I have made it to the Gallup personality assessment. I've read quite a deal about it on the computer and I'm pretty nervous for it. But from the things I've read, it's either you got it, or you don't. If you "pass" then you are a good fit for Stryker, if not then you don't pass and aren't a good fit. I suppose I wouldn't want to pass it and not really be a good fit for the company and waste a bunch of my time and theirs interviewing and realizing that this place is NOT for me. Or worse actually get the job and then realize how its not right. So in a sense I'm not really nervous for the interview, however just because it IS an interview I'm nervous. haha.

Well I am going to go get some stuff done and get ready for tomorrow. Should be a pretty chill day tomorrow. Just class and a tour. And then I have fall break! :) YAY

Good night
-JRA

Another long day of class followed by a boring night of "me time". I'm sick of my daily schedule. I need to do something new. Tomorrow I'm going to to gto get more done. Got my lab report back in 423. I got a 97 on it. Great feeling. I honestly didn't think mine was that complete and thought that I had made quite a few errors in the calculations. Apparently I did it correctly and everything was right. :) The average on it was about a 80 so I did very well. I really do enjoy that class as well as the work in that class. None of it bothers me and it all seems worth while. I am learning so I'm fine with it. Other class that I have this semester on the other hand, I feel like they are all a waste of time.

Pretty lame that an A can make everything feel better.

I need to get all the stuff ready for the gEECS info session that we are holding. It's for some software company I've never heard of, but whatever?

Well I am sleepy. Tony and I are fighting because I want a more solidified relationship. I'm sick of this long distance stuff. He's hardly ever here. But I guess its sort of my fault to beacuse I never go back to S.C. to hang out with him when he's there. I shouldn't even be pressing this. He's here all the time. I just can't wait to have a life with him. I am anxious and need to have patience. I think that's the biggest flaw in my personality. Patience. I'm going to work on that.

I understand that its been almost a month since I last updated. I apologize, but you must understand that I'm currently in my senior year of college, I have a major design project going on, interviews, and then labs and homework to take care of after that. When I do have a SPARE second I try to talk to my boyfriend and have some what of a social life. That being said, I have little time to spend updating cyberspace with the intimate details of my busy life. Right now, I'm procrastinating doing all of the above.

I have had 3 interviews. 2 phone and 1 face to face. 2 of them were with a company called Stryker who I found on a very lengthy search for employment in the state of Michigan, and the other was with GE Aviation Systems. Nothing special in this area right now. Haven't heard back from GE(it was conducted yesterday). And I have to take a Gallup Personality ("Life Themes" they call it) assessment before I move on to the next step in that interview process. Next week I have an interview with Medtronic.

School has been rough. I work a lot and hate it. However I procrasitnate everything until the day before its due which is certainly kicking me in the ass. I need to step up my work game! My MDE is going alright. Sorta weird. I never understand how the lecture have ANYTHING to do with what is going on in the class.... such is school though.

I can't wait to have a job and know what's going to be happening with the rest of my life. I hate this in between period and having no clue and being NERVOUS as hell about getting a job and starting "real life".

I have things to get done.
Later
-JRA

I've been sick for days... I am SOOO ready to be healthy again. I hate getting up and feeling like I was hit by a semi truck. I hate not being able to talk and feeling like my throat is raw. I just want to be better.

Today was the second day of the Career Fair. I don't know why I was SO nervous. It seemed to be quite a waste of time because every recruiter I spoke with told me that I had to apply on their website to be considered. A few of them seemed cool and we had good conversations, however I know they just put my resume in the stack with everyone else and they won't remember me. But I guess that's all I can do. So stayed at the Career Fair for a while, and then came back home and filled out numerous online applications. So cross your fingers, I NEED A JOB!

I can't wait for this weekend. I am going home to see my family and have my birthday. This year my birthday isn't too exciting. Maybe I'll just celebrate the first anniversry of my 21st birthday! that sounds good. I am just happy to go see the dogs, my parents, the rest of my family and just have some away time from my apartment and Ann Arbor in general. Yay!

I really don't have much homework lately. It feels nice. A lot of my homework is lab work that gets done during class time. I have a few things to do outside of class, but other than that, I have a bit of down time. I don't know if I like that or if I hate that. I can get everything done by Friday night, which is super. But during the week I have a lot of down time too. I should get back in the habit of going to the Dude for a few hours because I did so much better the semester that I just went to the dude and read my text books and took indepht notes. I only have one class that has a book though. Maybe I'll just start to work a head... Doubt it.

I suppose I don't have much else to write about. I'm so nervous about getting a job. A place I applied to called Niowave already contacted me to fill out a questionare. Hope i get a job with them. They do cleanroom equipment development and Superconductor Research. It looks like a pretty interesting company. Also its located in Lansing Michigan. So close to home!! :)

Well I am going to get going. I have a few things to get done tonight and then I'm going to get to sleep early. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. gEECS Recruitment dinner!

Talk to you later
-JRA

So I am beyond nervous for the career fair. I don't even know why either. Its like do or die time. I feel like if I don't get a job in the next 2 months, I'll never get a job. While I understand this is NOT true, it doesn't make me any less nervous about the whole getting hired process. I just want someone to see me and say here's a job. I know this is NEVER EVER EVER going to happen, but I wish it would. Honestly I don't even know what company I want to work for, or really even what kind of Electrical Engineering work I want to do coming out of college. I suppose I don't really care. Even if it is not something that I want to do for the rest of my life, its a first job. I've been told that I might not necessarily LOVE my first job, but I really want to somewhat enjoy it. I just want this all to be over. I just want to KNOW what I'm going to be doing come May. I wish I could just know that one piece of future information.

These past few days I've been reading some of my middle school journals that surfaced in my move. WOW. I was so funny back then. It honestly cracks me up. Not only were my writing skills lacking, I was boy crazy and thought that any boy that would give me the time of day was the boy I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Granted that Tony and I DID meet in 7th grade, you'll be surprised to know that he wasn't one of the many boys that I thought I was going to marry! Its so funny to think back about those times. It honestly is like watching a very corny TV show. Sort of sad that my life reminds me of some knock off teenage drama show, but then again I think a lot of people would feel the same way if they were as strange as I was as a teenageer to keep a journal of EVERY SINGLE day of my life since the last day of 6th grade. I'm really happy I did it. However I really wish i would have kept up with it in High school. I feel like my high school thoughts were a little more mature and well I feel like I grew up a TON from around 11th grade(mayish) until the day I graduated. I really wish I could read that transition. Its so fun to read. I'll have to put an exert in here one of these days.

School is taking off like a jet. Honestly it feels so slow and I don't really have any homework or reading to do, but I knew in like a week its going to start to PILE on. I hate that feeling, knowing that things are going to get exponentially harder in a very very very short time. Yet there's not a thing I can do to prepare. I just have to let it all happen when it happens. :( most of my classes are so awkward. like my EECS 452 class(Senior Digital Signal Processing Lab) is just so weird. We go to lecture which is held 3 times a week to listen to the professor read directly from her slides about the specifications of the hardware we are using in lab. Its like no one in that class has ever heard of a data sheet or an operation manual. And I don't think they know how to read. Its sad and I hate going, but its my Senior Design, I have to prove myself (to myself).

Other than that, weekends have been super fun. Its awesome that Tony and I both have season tickets this year. So much fun! Tomorrow the game is against Eastern Michigan so we should have a good game. And its supposed to be pretty nice outside so that will help. Last week it was super hot and it made me sick feeling. Plus i was so tired from standing up the entire time. So now that its not going to be as hot, maybe I won't feel so tired. The sun really wears me out.

I am going to go do the dishes and organize the apartment. Its a mess right now.

Today was the first day of class. First day of my Senior Year. Seems like I just had the first day of my senior year in high school. Time is really flying by. It scares me. What scares me even more is becoming a real person after college. I'm so scared of failure. :( I still feel way too young to graduate from college.

I didn't have class today though! :) I have a lab on Tuesday's from 8:30 to 11:30, but since there typically isn't labs the first week of classes, I had nothing. Pretty sweet gig. Tomorrow however I have quite a few classes, and then Thursday and Friday I have one each. I'm contemplating taking another class so that I'm not taking 12 credits and having too much down time. However I know that the school work is going to pick up quickly and I will be happy that I only took 12 credits. So i don't know.

Plans for today: None. I need to put in some work on the website, but that's about it. I have some TV to watch tonight and then Ill probably play fallout3 for a little bit. I'm sorta addicted to the game. Its hard and I hate it, yet i keep playing. LAME. I was sooo excited when Tony told me that he'd leave the X box for the week to play! YIPPIE.

So in movie news, Youth in Revolt is coming out on Oct 30th. I abs cannot wait. Honestly! I'm a little nervous because it is my favorite book of all time, and for years I've had this image of what the book would be like if it were a movie. I'm scared they might not live up to my expectations. Currently I am rereading it because I know there's parts I've forgotten about. Still as hilarious as it was the first time I read it in 8th grade. Although now I understand some of the crud jokes more.




Another book that I've enjoyed is coming to movie. I was super surprised with the fast book to movie turn around of this one. I bought I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell a few weeks after it came out. It honestly wasn't that long ago, and now the movie is coming out Sept 25th. Fast.



Considering Youth in Revolt is like decades old and they are just NOW making a movie, it seems like the other book went straight to movie. Like when you see the million American Pie sequels coming straight to DVD. I always wonder when that fad will die.

Well I suppose I will go listen to Green Day and reminisce about 10th grade or something. And I need to work on the website.

Later
JRA

I love that little dog. Sophie is growing up so much and she is so gosh-dang cute. Sometimes when I look at her, I can't even believe that she's a real animal because she's so cute. I miss her already.

I'm back in Ann Arbor after a week of being home and relaxing. School is getting ready to start back up. I'm not really ready. I just want this summer to last for the rest of forever because it was so easy and there was very very little responsibility. :) Love it. But all good things do come to an end and I have to go back to my stressful life of becoming an Electrical Engineer! (WTF was I thinking?)

On a more exciting note, Michigan Football Season starts tomorrow. Way excited about that!! I'm glad I got season tickets again. And even more excited because Tony has them too and we're in row 2!!! Yes! Its gonna be a great season!

I love Tony so much. He and I are 21 together right now. I love when we are the same age together. Its a fun 3 weeks and then I get older than him again. We had our first drinks together at a restaurant. I've waited to have a drink with him at a restaurant for almost a year! Yeah I'm a sweet girlfriend. haha It was fun.

Well I'm gonna get sleep.
-JRA

I cannot for the life of me get this paper done.  I have about 2 of the 10 pages that need to be turned in on Tuesday by five pm.  I have changed my topic 3 times.  I don't even know what to talk about and its driving me nuts.  :(  Really I've been trying to force myself to do this all weekend and I can't.  I don't really have writers block, I just can't seem to keep myself on the same page and I keep skipping back and forth with ideas and topics.  And to top that all off I've found it almost impossible to get sources to back my claims, so they probably aren't even valid.  LIFE.

This weekend however has been quite nice.  Tony and I got to spend a lot of time together and I just love him so much.  I don't know what I would do without him because he is so wonderful and wow.  I love that man.  I can't wait till like Wednesday because my baben is going to come down and stay at the apartment for a while.  These past few weeks we really haven't been home there a lot because I've had class and work and he's been working.  And then on his day's off I've been coming home to help my family with various things.  So it will be super nice to just get to spend time together.  And I don't have class or anything to deal with! :)  No responsibilities.  FINALLY!

Well I suppose I will get back to this paper, hopefully I can pull some more shit out of my butt and then turn it in and pass the class.  I'm taking it pass fail so I really don't care how I do, as long as I get a pass.

Later
-JRA

I'm so happy, today is the last day of summer term classes. I took my final for Anthropology this morning. It was so easy and almost a joke to take. I mean that whole class has been a joke. I can't even believe that it was a college level class. It felt like 7th grade science or something. Nothing about the class was hard or thought provoking. I guess taking engineering classes and math classes for 4 years has made me numb to anything that isn't math or engineering and it makes it easy. So sweet.

Tonight I have my last SOC class. I'm sort of sad about it. I really enjoyed that SOC class. It was fun, people were cool, everyone was eager to discuss whatever we were talking about(even me) and I really started to have a different view on society. But now its over and I'll probably never have a class where I constantly laugh for 2 hours straight and listen to crazy stories of people's intimate lives. Over all it was one of the most cognitively stimulating classes I've taken in college. I really never thought that I'd like the class. Especially from the first day, but I really did come to like it a lot, and now its all over. So one more night of fun and then I really need to buckle down and write my 10 page paper for the class. Its going to blow. But I suppose I don't care that much about the paper because I am taking the class pass/fail and I'm sure I'll do fine and pass the class, even without the paper probably, but I can't just not do it because it would make me feel lazy and like I failed myself in some way.

After class Tony and I are going to go back to Swartz Creek. I'm excited to get back there. See the puppy, help Ryann move to Allendale and then spend the rest of the weekend with my love. He wants to take me to see a movie on Saturday. "The Time Travelers Wife" It looks really good, but I'm pretty sure its going to be very sad. So I cant' wait to cry! haha.

I need to go gather my thoughts for my paper and start looking for some resources. Hopefully this doesn't take that long, I have to have 10 resources for this 10 page paper. SICK I will write later.
-JRA

I have a headache. I'm pretty sure its because I have done NOTHING today. I really feel alright besides that. Usually when I have a day like today, I feel all guilty about it because I didn't get anything accomplished. Well today I haven't gotten anything accomplished and I do not feel one bit ashamed about it. I'm actually happy that I didn't do much of anything today. :) I did watch some TV and laid around thinking about my paper that I have to write. However I haven't really started it, just thought about it. Perhaps I will start that tonight? Doubt it. I really need to get it done one of these days though. 10 pages is going to be pretty hard to pull out of my ass. :(

Tomorrow I'm pretty busy. I have class at 9 to 11, but I don't know if I'm going to go because its a review session. Every test we've taken in the class I've gotten far above average so I'm pretty sure I'm going to fine over all, and plus I really don't feel like this last test is going to be that hard. It does however have a pretty lengthy written essay that we have to do in class. Maybe I should put some thoughts down on paper about it. I mean seeing as the professor gave us the topic question a WEEK before the exam, I'm sure she's going to expect something sort of though out and not just thrown down when I get to class to take the test on Thursday.

See these are the things i COULD have done today, but I didn't and I don't really even feel bad about that. O well. I mean the day is pretty much over so I can't really get the time back.

I think I'm gonna go make some dinner, maybe that's why I have a headache.

later
-JRA

This week is my last week of being productive... at least being required to be productive. Please don't get me wrong, I enjoy being productive. I like getting up in the morning and making my day worth while, however I do not enjoy the productivity that I've been forced to have since June 29th. Summer term classes end on Thursday and then I am on my own until September 8th. can't wait to have some ME time and have time to actually do all the things that I've wanted to do all summer. I really can't wait to have some time to decorate my apartment. However, I have very very little money, pretty much zero dollars, to decorate this place, and every thing that I like costs a lot of money. Looks like I'll be drawing art for my walls on the free newspapers that I get in the mail and hanging them with no frames. Maybe I should just leave my walls white.

This weekend felt like summer. It was hot, we went to my grandma's for dinner, Tony and I smiled, laughed and just were excited to be in the company of each other. It felt like summer. I felt free from responsibility and over all my life felt complete. I just haven't felt like that this summer. I guess its been because I have been working, researching and taking classes. I guess that's what happens. O well. I feel better now.

Speaking of research, our project is going VERY well. We got the serial wireless transmission system to work. Its flawless and beautiful. I never thought that I would call circuit boards beautiful, but really when we saw the messages we were sending show up across the room on the VGA monitor, man that was like the highlight of my entire summer. I felt complete. I have to be the biggest nerd on the face of the plannet... or does that make me a geek? I really don't know the difference between a nerd and a geek? O well. We are now going to get the camera system to work and life should be pretty stellar from there.

I found a job that I NEED. Its working for an engineering firm in Grosse Point and they are being contracted by an automotive company(scary i know), to create a wireless camera system for back up sensors and equipment. Pretty much the same project I've been working on all summer. Its a full time position with the company and they are hiring 12 people to fill the team(all electrical engineers). The position has a very nice salary of 98 to 120K a year dependent on experience and its entry level. So while I fit EVERY aspect of this job, the position starts Immediately and I have a year before I obtain that stupid piece of paper that is my EE degree. Such is life. some day some day.

Well I suppose I am going to take a power nap before I give my tour in the 120 degree humid heat. yippie.

Later
-JRA

So I'm feeling a ton better. Tony and I are having a much better time in our relationship. It's so good. We've been talking more and just have better communication and just overall our relationship has been so much more enjoyable to have. I love it. And I just feel so much better. Its really amazing. I don't feel so crappy and lame all the time. It's great.

Right now I am at home hanging out with the family. Today my mom, Ryann, Pam and I all went to see the movie Julie and Julia. It was so cute and made me want to be a more successful blogger. Some day, some day I will be more committed to my blogging and some day I will be a better writer. But until that day comes, you will just have to edure my horrid skills in the world of blogging and probably my even worse english/spelling/grammer skills. I appologize.

Tomorrow I don't have any MAJOR plans, however I do plan on going to a Goodwill with my mom to see if I can find anything to decorate my apartment. I just feel like my apartment is really bland and boring. So I need to spice things up a bit, make it a place that I feel good to walk into. Not another apartment like last year when I dreaded going home because 1) my crazy roommate, and 2) because the place was constantly messy and just soooo boring looking. So that's my plan for tomorrow.

I suppose I am going to go hang out, watch TV, and do whatever else I feel like doing.

I miss Tony right now cause he's working, but I'm not feeling rejected or down or like he wants me out of his life. I just feel like o well, he's at work and he will be out of work soon.

I will write later.
-JRA

I need to stop over analyzing everything. So we fought, so he likes to do things besides spend every waking minute with me, so we have differences... its probably supposed to be like this. I've been much too clingy lately and I need to lay off. I'm sick of me always causing the fights we get in. In reality I'm sick of myself. The only person that can change me is me, so I'm done. Now I am doing things that make me happy and that doesn't HAVE to include doing things 24/7 and occupying myself. I used to be so much simpler, I used to find joy in just reading a book, or writing a short story. I need to do that again. Or I need to find something else that sparks my interest, like my research project. I really need to focus on that.

We talked, we were scared. With this 4th and final year of college coming up we have started to really hone in on OUR future and how we fight into that together. It is a very scary topic. I don't know what's going to happen with my job placement or where I'm gonna be come this time next year, but I DO know that my relationship with Tony is important and in most cases more important than some stupid job. I mean I really don't have any idea what i want to do, so whatever job i can get will most likely be something that I will enjoy, plus its just a job. So whatever I need to do to keep the love of my life with me, I will do. So I'm currently praying for a job here in Michigan. I know I've said that 'we' want to move to California, but really I don't think either of us really wanted to, we just said that because we thought the other wanted to. Our communication link was not really a link these past few months. So we are reopening that road! :)

That makes me feel better
Thanks
-JRA

Its getting worse. Honestly worse. He's taking MORE shifts this weekend. I know exactly why he's doing this too. Partly because he doesn't want to come down to Ann Arbor to see me, but MOSTLY because he wants to buy a fucking 1000$ handgun for his birthday. He lies too. He always says that he's working extra hours for "us", but I can see right through his fucking lies. He's just working extra so that he can buy himself some stupid gun that I doubt that he'll ever use. He'll buy it just have like all of his other useless guns. He's so childish. I'm so am done being engaged with a child. Its ridiculous. I need someone that can actually "provide" for me. That actually CARES about furthering our relationship.

Sometimes I don't even understand why Tony asked me to marry him, because most of the time I don't even feel like he WANTS to marry me. He would rather work his life away and buy useless things to some how fill some void in his life. Maybe he's gay and all of this is a cover up. I don't even understand. It hurts me more than anything in the world. I want to be with "him" so bad. I want to marry the Tony that was in love with me. The Tony that would honestly do anything for us, and not compromise our relationship for his benefit. I'm SOOO sick of this. I feel like I'm crying over our relationship more than I'm happy about it. Its not supposed to be like this.

I don't want to lose him though. He's my best friend, he's really like my everything. I wouldn't even know how to live my life with out him there. And that's the reason that I ENJOY spending time with him, but I guess I have come to realize that he doesn't really love spending time with me. It hurts so bad.

I don't know what's going to happy with my life.
-JRA

Hi, I'm feeling sick. I haven't felt good all day. I slept a lot today too. I don't really know what's wrong, but I have a horrid headache that won't go away ever. I've even taken meds, which is something I rarely do because they make me feel even worse most of the time. I just want to feel better.

I had to give a tour today. It was alright. I really didn't feel like doing it, but the people seemed to really like it so I guess I did alright. Not my best work by far. I sometimes just really get sick of talking. And I really hate talking about departments that are not EECS. That's sad!! :( But whatever, it came and went.

Wednesday and Thursday were nice. Tony was down and we got to hang out together. Lately I have been feeling kind of down about our relationship. I know I go through these stages of how I feel Tony feels about me and in reality he always feels the same, but I just feel down. I have been feeling lately like he's bored. That he just gets completely annoyed with being with me. And he's been doing a lot that points to that. For instance, he will honestly take any shift he can that would fall on a day when we could have a decent time together. He "traded" schedules with someone so that he could work Friday nights. He used to have Friday, Saturday and Sunday off and we'd have so much fun, but then he thought that would be a good idea to do that. Also he works every other Saturday, so he's pretty much taken up the weekends so he doesn't have to have any part of me. These past few weeks he's been coming down during the week. My weekday's are pretty busy. So during the time he's down here I have to get up early and do a lot during the day and usually I want to go to bed early cause I'm exhausted and need to get up again the next day. So since he's down here on the weekdays, he can really minimize the amount of actual time he has to spend with me. Also since he's down here during the week, that's a wonderful excuse to not come down on the weekend since he's "already come down this week". I just feel horrid. I don't know why or what I've done to push him away so much.

Lately I've just been really holding back. Like last week I hardly called him at all because I felt like the weekend before I had pissed him off or something by asking him to bring me back to Ann Arbor(??). So that only drove him nuts on the days that he'd come down in the first place. He had "other stuff to do" also. It just really really really hurts my feelings. I am so lost and I have no one to turn to. I am scared.

-JRA

So I've had an incredibly busy week. I honestly didn't have any down time to just think. Monday was busy, I had class, gave a tour, and also had to do some web design work for the Office of Student Affairs. Pretty easy. Tuesday was a bunch of work in the Lab and then I had to work at Lurie for a few hours. I had class again at 6 until 8. Went back to the apt and did studying for my exam that took place Wednesday morning. After my exam I worked on website design and then went and gave a tour. Thursday I got up, had class, then had to give 2 tours back to back to a few groups visiting from Detroit. I was extremely tired after that, but I had class again from 6 to 8. After that class I came home, took a shower and collapsed in bed. Today wasn't nearly as busy, but I still had to get up early and work. 9 to 12 did the website stuff, 12 to 3:30 did office work and touring, and then went over to the lab to get some stuff situated for our presentation on Monday. BLAH. After that I came home and realized that my apartment had really taken a beating from me being "gone" from it all week, so I did all the dishes, cleaned up everything that was out of place and got my stuff together to go back to Swartz Creek for the puppies final weekend there. I'm gonna miss them.

Now I'm home researching different websites and peoples blogs for great decoration ideas as well as the starting ideas for my wedding. Since we haven't really set a date in stone it doesn't feel like its ever gonna come, but next summer will be here very quickly. AHHH. Its cool I've found some pretty cool stuff. I will try to post things as I find them and what not, but right now I don't really feel like uploading all these idea's I've found, so I'll do it later.

This weekend I really really want to take a bunch of pictures. I have no excuse. Tomorrow I have an entire day to ME. I do not have to think about school and I can do whatever I want. So pictures will be taken and I hope to get some of them up here before the weekend is over and I have no time to post them.

I think I am going to go get ready for bed. I'm SOOOO excited to sleep in past 8 tomorrow morning. Its gonna be awesome.

I really miss Tony this week and tonight. Can't wait till Sunday to see him!!
-JRA

I got home at about 9:45 last night. The puppies aren't really puppies any more, they are little dogs. So cute. They play and bark and are just a ton of fun... and work. I love them, but I'm very excited for them to go home to their "forever homes" as my mom says. :) I'm glad that my parents are keeping one of them because other wise I'd really miss them when they go home, but we get to keep one.

I have no plans for today and it feels great. I'm sure I'll hang out with Tony tonight and we'll have a good time. But as of right now I don't have to do anything. I love not doing anything. And tomorrow I have a pretty full day. I have to do the whole wedding shower thing. I came home to go to the party as a guest, but since my mom is the one putting it on, I have to help out the whole time. Sick. But whatever.

I am going to start planning my wedding soon. I know we haven't really set a date, but I'm sure we will soon. I can't wait for all the excitement of my wedding. I am nervous too. I know this is bad, but I've decided NOT to have all my friends in my wedding party. There is just too many of them. So I'm only going to have my sisters and Tony's sister. I hope my friends don't hate me for the rest of my life. I think that they will understand. So I'm going to start soon. Can't wait.

Well I don't really have much else to write about. I think I'm going to take some pictures of the pups later, and maybe outside if the weather gets nicer(its SUPER cold out). I'll post later.

-JRA

I am working the front desk in Lurie right now. Like always. I've been here since 12 and its been a LONG day. Almost all of the offices on North Campus are closed today for a staff retreat so nothing has really happened. There were a few calls and a few people asking for directions and such but definitely a very very slow day.

So I've been extremely bored. I'm actually pretty surprised that I haven't updated sooner. haha, be glad I suppose.

Tonight I'm going home to hang out and see the puppies. My dad is coming down to get me at like 8:30 so I have a little down time to get my apartment cleaned up and stuff. I'm also going home this weekend because my cousins wedding shower is on Sunday and I think that my mom would die if I didn't go. Plus I don't want to be the loser of the family that didn't go to the wedding shower, especially since I'm going to be having on next year. OMG!

I'm so excited to get married, but I think Tony is getting a little apprehensive. I don't really know why because its like a year away. I guess its because I am annoying. That's what I've decided. I am too needy toward him and I am going to stop. No longer will I expect him to come down or hang out with me. He will on his own time. I have other things to fill my voided time with anyway. :( I guess.

These past two days were good though because we had been fighting over the weekend. So we decided we were sorry for whatever we had been fighting about and then had a good mid-week. :) He's cute.

Now its gonna be the weekend. I'm happy for that. Next week is going to be the longest week on the face of the earth. I start my new web site job, I work every day for touring, and I have to get together with a group to do a presentation for my Soc class. SICK and I think I have an exam in my Anthro class. I really wish I would not have taken summer classes. Or at least not taken these summer classes.

Well I am gonna get going, my shift is out in 5 minutes!! woot

Well summer classes have started. They are very boring. Neither of them have homework so I don't really have much to do. I guess that's cool, but really its nice to have something to keep me on track. I have work and research and I also got a new job doing some data entry/web design to do for this month. (only about 20 hours worth of work). But other than that I've found myself just hanging out and being bored out of my mind.

I'm home right now because Tony's working a 48 this weekend and wasn't going to be able to come down to a2 this weekend and I didn't want to just sit around by myself and do NOTHING, so I decided to come home. I don't know if coming home was any better though because I'm super bored now. I don't really have much to do. I guess I COULD have tired to get a hold of some people here in flint, but that's a lot of work and I'm too lazy. haha. I'm so lame.

I don't really know what to do with myself. I keep thinking of stuff i could do, but then it feels boring. I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Maybe I'm depressed or something, but I don't really feel sad. I just feel extremely bored and just feel like I never have anything to do. I don't know.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Tony doesn't have to work, but I know he's going to want to sleep all day because he's been working for the last 2 days straight. I know I have to let him sleep, but I really want to see him. I hate living like this. I am so jealous of people who just have an easy life together and don't have to just HOPE they get to see their fiance. I just wish we could LIVE together. I know we are sort of living together, but its so irregular and weird that we can never get any type of pattern going and it always feels like he's just visiting when he's there. I just want it to feel like we are actually living together.

I think its him that doesn't want to do that. I really think he's nervous and doesn't want to completely commit to living with me. I wish I knew why because I'm totally ready to just live with him... It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, or that he doesn't really want to even be with me because he doesn't want to live with me. I would honestly give anything for Tony to just straight out live with me. It really frustrates me.

Well I am gonna go do something.. I don't even know what... probably go to sleep.

Later
-JRA

Well Summer classes started off yesterday bright and early at nine am in West Hall. I honestly don't even think before yesterday I'd ever ventured into west hall... well I take that back I went in there one time to see the tow tank. But that was it. SO it was fun finding class.

My Anthro-Bio class seems pretty interesting. Its about Evolution. Pretty interesting and the professor seems very well educated in the subject and she's been to like every country on this planet. haha she's a real archeologist. she really digs up bones for a living. haha I never really thought that I'd actually come across some one who does that. When I was little, that is ALL i wanted to be. I mean how fun is digging in the dirt when you are 5 years old, and to find old dinosaur bones... wow now that would be too much fun. Haha, and then I grew up and realized that not MANY people actually get to do that. She does tho. I wonder if that was also her childhood dream. If it was good for her for sticking with it. I decided to become and electrical engineer. Strange career move. I've always been an engineer at heart tho.

My Soc class so far is 'alright'. The GSI teach it is pretty funny, but I think its going to be a lot of work with all the readings and papers I have to do. I'm not much of a writer these days, so hopefully I can pull some shit out of my ass and pass this class with flying colors. I'm the only engineer in the class, I can tell. I didn't really want to even tell them I was an engineer. But I did because what the heck. They probably all think I'm weird. Oh well.

I'm pretty bored with this life I'm leading these days. My research project is sorta of standstill-ish because James is on vacation and I'm just very reluctant to code and learn VHDL. :( I need to just go do it. I should have worked on it all last week when I had a bunch of off time. But I didn't. LAME.

I'm excited for Thursday because I am going home for the weekend. Thank god. Get out of this hell hole and go see those puppies. I miss them. I feel like I never get to see them and they are growing up so fast. I do love to come home and see how much they've grown in the past week or two. This time I'll be coming home two weeks after I've seen them last so they should be a lot bigger. AHDLJSLFj That's how they make me feel.

I am SOO glad I am done with that stupid Materials Science class. Every day I rejoice because I am not in that class. It was horrid. I don't think for the rest of my life I would want to studying anything in that class again. Well maybe the very last bit of it because I do love me some semiconductor material. haha. NIOCE.

Oh, I got a power adapter for my laptop for 10.75 on eBay stores. WAY excited. Hopefully it works and doesn't blow my computer up or anything. I feel sorta bad telling my parents because they just bought a new one for 60 bucks. :( Maybe I'll tell them it was more so they don't feel bad.

I have nothing else to say, and plus my fingers are super cold so I'm gonna go sleep probs. I'm exhausted today.

later
-JRA

So I took a nap at around 3:30 today and was only asleep for maybe an hour. I get up and check facebook because I hadn't checked it all day. Everyone's status on my news feed said that Michael Jackson was dead. I felt like I had to believe it since everyone was saying it, and most of these people have no link to each other so its not like they were playing a big joke or something. Weird. So even though I did believe them, I still looked it up and yep it was true.

I was never the biggest fan of MJ but still he was part of the pop culture of my time. When I was little I remember seeing him on TV and I didn't think he was a real person. In growing up there was the countless MJ/child molestation jokes and just jokes about him in general. There was his music of course. I wasn't really a fan, but how can you NOT listen to a song my MJ if it comes on the radio. So over all it was a shock to me that he was dead. I guess I just never pegged him as old. He was only 50 but for some reason in my mind he was younger. And to have died from a heart attack... scary.

On another note, I have air conditioning in my apartment right now. Way excited about that. It has been 90+ these past few days and I don't think that I could have survived if I didn't have air. AHHH!!! My dad came down yesterday and installed it for me. :) I was so happy. Tony also was here last night. We made coney dogs and watched a movie. I had a horrid headache and eventually just fell asleep.

Today was pretty boring. I had to work at the lab for a few hours. We got pretty frustrated and ended up leaving. We have a lot to learn/do on that project and its sorta of discouraging when nothing goes right and the code is impossible to deciliter. Whatever.

I'll leave you with the much anticipated pictures of the puppies. I think I'm gonna go on a bike ride for a while. Later.

Well I took my final exam today. Finally. I really don't think I did that horrid on it but whatever as of right now I don't really care. Its all over and that's all that really matters to me(right now).

Got the first(of many) phase of our project to work today. It was pretty exciting. TO see something actually work sorta makes me like engineering. Its when everything goes wrong that I get really frustrated and just want to give up. Really what we did today was sorta lame, we just got serial transmission to work. I suppose that's not really a daunting task but I've never taken a communications class, and I only started to code in VHDL like a month.5 ago so I it was hard for me(us). We now have a TON of work a head of us. Hopefully we can get it done eventually.

Blah, its sooo hot in my apartment. My dad is coming down tomorrow to install an air conditioner for me. I cannot wait!!! It's rather large so it should cool like my entire apartment. NICE. It will be so nice to come in from the HOT out side and actually be able to be comfortable and not have to strip down to underwear and take cold showers. :) Can't wait.

Tony's coming down tomorrow to. We are gonna hang out and have a decent day. We are both like MEGA poor right now so we don't plan on doing much of anything, maybe go on a bike ride if its not TOO hot out side. Its supposed to be like 93 tomorrow. SICK. I hate heat and sometimes I hate summer, other times I don't really mind it.

Well I really don't have much to write about. My days are all sorta blending together. All I know is tomorrow is Wednesday and I have a meeting at 3:45 for an hour and then my dad is coming down to install a godsend. :)

I will write later when my life is more exciting... hopefully soon.

So today... well yesterday I guess now was the last day of classes for spring. I am overjoyed. I honest never though this day would come. Every since we started learning about steel in MSE I wanted it to be over. That was the most boring class I've ever taken. I just hope I pass the final and never have to think about it again... well actually even if i didn't even pass the class I'd never have to think about it again because its nothing like my major. I am SOO glad I'm an electrical engineering major.

Other times I can't say that however. For instance, today we started working on the software for the research project that I'm working on. OMG I understand why I didn't become an fricken CS major, but I still feel like I am one. I mean I'm sitting there trying to decipher this VHDL code that has NO comments and very minimal explanation. It was hard. I will honestly say I really haven't even touched the surface on everything there is to know about EE. I don't think even if I spent my entire life learning I would/could learn everything. For one things change daily and for two, there is just TOO much. But I do feel like from this research I'm learning more than I EVER have in any of my classes. I feel like this is more beneficial than any EECS class I could take(with the exception of the lab based classes like 452 and 423). Really just searching around on the internet, reading about how others have figured things out, writing my OWN code and creating something that I thought up really is better than doing a bunch of homework problems.

I was thinking today about high school and senior year Calculus. I remember we all had to take this quiz because everyone(well not me) was doing poorly on a subject. My teacher told me I didn't have to take it because I "already knew everything". High school gave me a big head. I honestly think I though I knew EVERYTHING there was to know in the world. There wasn't a thing that I thought I needed to learn. Now here I am entering my senior year of college and I feel as if I know nothing. There is SOOOOO much I need to learn and want to know. I really LOVE learning and that feeling of "getting it" after trying so hard and having something work. It makes me happy.

I think that the rest of my life it's going to be like this. I'm always going to have to keep on my wikipedia reading(haha) and never will there be a day when I know every thing. Sorta scary because I thought(back in high school when I was a genius) that after college I would know all I needed to know for the rest of my life/career. I was so stupid come to think about it. How did I honestly think that things would just be DONE the day I stepped out of the Stadium with my new found Michigan Education... I don't know. But I can remember that feeling.

Its hard for me to believe that I've been done with high school for going on 4 years and I'm going to be done with college in less than a year. After that Life starts. Everything from there on out will be up to me and I have no concrete plans for after college. Hopefully a job!! :) And of course getting married. But other than that, life will happen I suppose.

I need to go to bed, I have work to to do tomorrow... and a TON of reading.
Later
-jra

I know I've said like one million times that I am going to post pictures of the puppies, well I WILL get around to it... tonight maybe, but I've been busy and really haven't had time to even put them on the puppy website much less come here and post them so the anybodies that read my blog can see them.

Speaking of the puppies, we are pretty sure that we've sold 6 of them. Seems pretty decent. We only have 2 left to sell now. One of them is going to be shipped to Colorado. I'd love to go there. Ever since I was in like 4th grade I've always dreamed of seeing CO and the mountains. Seems like it would be so pretty to take pictures of. 'Cept I doubt that I'll get there any time soon, and before I know it I'm going to have kids and a life that will inhibit me from going places. Back to puppies, I'm glad that they are selling. My mom was so worried about getting rid of them once we found out Bail was going to have nine of them, and now that they are selling she's excited and relieved... which is nice.

Also my mom got the summer job she was hoping for. I'm super happy. At least now they don't have to depend on the puppy money for the summer while my mom isn't working. I'm sure that made my parents a little more relaxed about summer plans and such. I know I'd LOVE to have some extra money right now. haha so I'm sure they are happy.

Money, I HATE money. Honestly it just puts me in a bad mood. Now don't get me wrong I love getting things, but thinking about the whole money situation and earning money and paying back all the money I've borrowed from the government over the past few years really makes me sick. I just hope that I get a job early on this fall and don't have to freak out come graduation and I have no idea what I'm going to do about working and paying back the loans and just living expenses for that matter.

Well I suppose I am going to go do some research for the project. I'll update later with some pictures... I won't promise, but I'm sure going to try.
:)
-jra

OMG, siiiccck, I'm so done with my classes right now. I can't wait for this week to be over. Its the last week of classes and my brain is blowing up!! I just want to puke.

Came back to Ann Arbor this morning. Got here sorta late and then had to race over to class. Material Science 220 is HORRID. It is the boringest class I've ever taken and I hate it. I don't even care about anything in there right now. I suppose the electrochemical stuff is sorta cool, but the rest is just like KILL ME!! :( haha

The puppies are so cute. I will HAVE to post some pictures tonight when I put them up on the website for my mom. I love them and can't wait to see them again. I think i might go home next Sunday since it's father's day and all. I think my dad would be sad if i didn't go home because i went home for mother's day and all. So i'll see if Tone will do that for me.

I am gonna go try to make myself listen in this stupid class.

I've been home all weekend. It hasn't been horrid, but its been sorta boring. I mean I really didn't have anything planned out cept the puppies and that's what I've been doing. No complaints. They are so sweet. We are taking pictures of them later tonight so I will post some of them. They are finally starting to open their eyes. And they look so sweet.

Tony's been working all weekend. I honestly feel like I never see Tony anymore. He's always working or sleeping. I guess it just doesn't give us much time together. And when he does have time off I feel like he'd MUCH rather spend it hangout with his sister. and that whole situation's weird because honestly his sister is going in High school and she acts like a 12 year old boy. weird. Just wish he'd actually make some time for us. I don't know. It just makes me worry that he DOESN'T want to spend time with me... i don't know.

Tomorrow I'll go back to Ann Arbor. Back to on-my-own-ness and stupid classes that I'm not doing well in and quizzes and work and research and reading tons of crap... :( I just want some time off. A break from it all. I don't even know what I'd do with it, but I need some time away from EVERYTHING.

I'm just so not content with my life right now. I'm sick of things never going my way and I'm sick of always being put last. It just sucks.

-jra

Right now I'm working... working during lunch is really boring in the Lurie Building. Nothing happens. No one calls, no one needs directions or any type of help. Pretty much I sit here for an hour and smile at all the other people leaving to take their lunch breaks. Once 1 rolls around however it will be much busier here. The tour today has a bunch of people on it so I'll have a ton of stuff to take care of before they all arrive. Sweet makes time pass.

Right now I'm not feeling like giving a tour at all. I really just want to go back to my apartment, get my laptop loaded with a bunch of programs I need to work on the website this weekend and go home. I need a break. Especially after this week. This week sorta sucked. I didn't do so awesome on my Material Science exam and it really bummed me out. I just need to get like 100 on the final to do well in that class, otherwise it looks like a bad grade for me. SUCK!! :(

Tonight is gonna be fun. I can't wait to see the puppies. I will post some on here if I remember and get a chance to do it. They are so sweet. I talked to my mom this morning and she said that their eyes are just starting to open. Very exciting. They are gonna be so cute!! :)

I am sorta excited to actually show my mom how i've been putting together the website, because right now I don't think she really gets it. I think she thinks its all just drag and drop and I can use any program in the world to do that(or no program at all). It will be nice for her to actually understand how much effort I've been putting into this website and maybe that will make her want to give me some dollars... haha jk. But I'll just be happy when someone appreciates all the effort and the extensive learning curve I've put myself through these past few months.

Speaking of learning curves, I have to start reading about all the hardware that my DSP project is going to entail. Its gonna take so long to understand all that material. Heck right now I don't even really quite understand the project. All i know is that we are going to have to pull data from the camera, compress it, save it to the FPGA, send it through a transmitter connected to that FPGA, and then receive it on the other FPGA and send it to a VGA connector and produce the image/movie on the screen. WOW!!! sounds hard, but after we get most of it working I think it will run nicely. The biggest problem that we are going to have is snycing the channels so that they accept the packets and read them properly. That will be hard. And since I've never taken anything communications based, its gonna be difficult!! But once its done and over i'm gonna be smart! haha

I should go work. Later

So, I will admit that I've really been slacking. I'm sorry about this. I guess I just haven't really had a lot of time lately. I really don't even know what's eating up all my time because I don't feel like I do much of anything these days. But some how I wake up in the morning an before I know it its night time and I'm sleeping again. Weird how that works.

So lets see, what's happened since the last time I posted... A lot I suppose.

Tony and I are good. I love spending time with him, yet I really feel like I never see him anymore and I just miss him a lot during the week. Then the weekend rolls around, we have and wonderful time and Monday comes WAY too fast. And then I start to miss him all over again. i just can't wait to get married and not have to worry about when we'll see each other and just all the current stresses of our lives. It will be nice to settle sorta.

James and I are finally getting started on our summer DSP project. We're researching remote cameras and sensors i guess. Here's some videos of what we might look into doing. Pretty cool stuff.



The part with the line tracking looks pretty interesting and it could have some pretty neat applications. However my favorite part of that video is the robot that follows the small orange ball. I can't even stop thinking about all the neat things you could do with that. It could pretty much be your best friend!! :)

Sad news, Sam had to be put to sleep yesterday. His hips got the best of him. I can't say that his body weight was helping him at all, but his hips really were giving out on him. He had a wonderful life and was a great dog, and I'll miss him a lot. Even though I never really liked him all that much because I'm just not a huge dog person, he was still our dog and he loved everyone more than anything in the world. He was never bad and honestly I can't even think of a thing that Sam did that was even the slightest bit bad. Poor old dog. I do believe that he is in a better place now and I think he's happier. :) RIP Old man Sam. Love you!



In happy news, Bailey finally had her puppies. She had them on June 1st. I was home for the weekend and was going to go back to Ann Arbor that Monday morning, but once she started having contractions I decided to stay home and wait for all her puppies to be born. It was pretty cool, sorta gross but pretty cool. She had nine. 6 Girls and 3 boys. I haven't seen them since June 1st and I'm really excited to go home to see how big they've gotten. I think that they are going to start to open their eyes soon. So that should be fun to see too.

Well I suppose that's really all that's been going on in the life of me. I will try to update more this month. I'll def. keep posted on the project because I'm gonna need some documentation some place, so here works. quick easy and to the point.

later.