Post Grad

I need to stop over analyzing everything. So we fought, so he likes to do things besides spend every waking minute with me, so we have differences... its probably supposed to be like this. I've been much too clingy lately and I need to lay off. I'm sick of me always causing the fights we get in. In reality I'm sick of myself. The only person that can change me is me, so I'm done. Now I am doing things that make me happy and that doesn't HAVE to include doing things 24/7 and occupying myself. I used to be so much simpler, I used to find joy in just reading a book, or writing a short story. I need to do that again. Or I need to find something else that sparks my interest, like my research project. I really need to focus on that.

We talked, we were scared. With this 4th and final year of college coming up we have started to really hone in on OUR future and how we fight into that together. It is a very scary topic. I don't know what's going to happen with my job placement or where I'm gonna be come this time next year, but I DO know that my relationship with Tony is important and in most cases more important than some stupid job. I mean I really don't have any idea what i want to do, so whatever job i can get will most likely be something that I will enjoy, plus its just a job. So whatever I need to do to keep the love of my life with me, I will do. So I'm currently praying for a job here in Michigan. I know I've said that 'we' want to move to California, but really I don't think either of us really wanted to, we just said that because we thought the other wanted to. Our communication link was not really a link these past few months. So we are reopening that road! :)

That makes me feel better
Thanks
-JRA