Well summer classes have started. They are very boring. Neither of them have homework so I don't really have much to do. I guess that's cool, but really its nice to have something to keep me on track. I have work and research and I also got a new job doing some data entry/web design to do for this month. (only about 20 hours worth of work). But other than that I've found myself just hanging out and being bored out of my mind.
I'm home right now because Tony's working a 48 this weekend and wasn't going to be able to come down to a2 this weekend and I didn't want to just sit around by myself and do NOTHING, so I decided to come home. I don't know if coming home was any better though because I'm super bored now. I don't really have much to do. I guess I COULD have tired to get a hold of some people here in flint, but that's a lot of work and I'm too lazy. haha. I'm so lame.
I don't really know what to do with myself. I keep thinking of stuff i could do, but then it feels boring. I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Maybe I'm depressed or something, but I don't really feel sad. I just feel extremely bored and just feel like I never have anything to do. I don't know.
Maybe tomorrow will be better. Tony doesn't have to work, but I know he's going to want to sleep all day because he's been working for the last 2 days straight. I know I have to let him sleep, but I really want to see him. I hate living like this. I am so jealous of people who just have an easy life together and don't have to just HOPE they get to see their fiance. I just wish we could LIVE together. I know we are sort of living together, but its so irregular and weird that we can never get any type of pattern going and it always feels like he's just visiting when he's there. I just want it to feel like we are actually living together.
I think its him that doesn't want to do that. I really think he's nervous and doesn't want to completely commit to living with me. I wish I knew why because I'm totally ready to just live with him... It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, or that he doesn't really want to even be with me because he doesn't want to live with me. I would honestly give anything for Tony to just straight out live with me. It really frustrates me.
Well I am gonna go do something.. I don't even know what... probably go to sleep.
Later
-JRA
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