I am sitting in the basement of the Michigan League right now trying to get my reading done for my American Culture class. I really haven't been down here since the first semester of my sophomore year of college. It's been bringing back weird memories. All I can feel is the way I used to feel coming down here between my math and physics classes. I would come here, get some lunch and then sit and feel really lonely. It makes me remember how insecure I was being by myself and not surrounded by a group of people. I always felt like everyone was looking at me because I was by myself eating and trying to get reading done for some class.
Now I realize how stupid that was. I don't know if I never looked around back then, but it seems like everyone here is by themselves trying to get work done. No one is surrounded by groups of friends laughing and have a good time. I suppose I used to feel like this because I still hadn't moved on from high school. I hadn't come to the realization that things are far different here. No longer were the days of fun and laughs with friends at lunch, here were the times of homework, reading and being alone.
Back then I was lonely. I didn't know what to do with myself if someone wasn't there to be with me to talk. I suppose I've really grown up since those days 3 years ago. Today I really enjoy being alone, and I LOVE to have time to get my work done and not have to worry about talking to other people. I really feel like I've done a complete 360 since my freshman/sophomore year of college. I suppose I've just grown up, but I really think I've become more comfortable with myself as a person and I feel like I've come to realize that having a few good friends is more rewarding than being the most popular person in high school surrounded by a huge group of followers.
Now I spend my days working, learning, and anticipating my graduation that is coming up. I am also on a job search that feels endless right now. I have my good friends that I see every day and talk to, but I do not feel like I need them constantly with me in order to be successful in my every day life. In fact if they had to be with me all the time I think that I would be worse off.
So I guess the point of this entry was really to just reflect on how I've changed since those cold, rainy fall days after math class when I was racing over here to get some food and hid in the corner. I suppose I haven't really thought about it, but now that I'm back in that familiar place, it's sort of eerie.
-JRA
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