Its all done!!! So happy.
Exams last week went well. I am now just riding it out until I move to the new apartment and get spring classes started. SICK.
Today SUCKED. Tony and I came down to Ann Arbor last night after spending some time in Swartz Creek with out families. We were having a great night last night and then finally fell asleep. We we got woken up this morning by his phone ringing off the hook. Turns out he really had to work today because his schedule got all messed up and he got scheduled for a day that he doesn't usually work. So he had to hurry around and leave.
I was totally bummed because I had the whole day planned and what we were gonna do in getting ready to move and just having some down time. But that was sorta ruined by his work calling him. SO the day totally sucked for me. I just sorta realized what a loser I am. I just felt really down about myself all day and didn't really know what to do.
I suppose I could have gone out and done something with my life but I didn't. I just moped around and got some work on my mom's puppy website done. But I just felt like a shit bag all day. I mean I have no friends any more I feel like. I mean I have some friends but I feel like they are all gone. My friends from high school never call me to invite me places any more, but I guess I don't really blame them because I always have to turn them down cause I'm in Ann Arbor. Once in a while I invite them down, but then I had to take away from any free time I have with Tony because i NEVER see him hardly either. I don't know I guess I'm just really bad at balancing people and friendships and ug I hate myself.
I just can't wait to graduate so I don't have to be tied to one place all the fricken time. I mean yeah I'll have a job, but hopefully it won't be the constant nag that school is. School is ALWAYS in the back of my mind. Even now that I am done with classes I am still thinking about the grades that i'm going to get in those classes. Its overwhelming and I want it to stop. I want my life to start.
FML
OMG, I need to study more. I don't know if coming home was a good idea or not because my family really has been keeping me from studying. In two days I have my EECS 320 final and man I feel like I haven't studied at all. Pretty pathetic since I have had a ton of time, I just don't feel like it and i'm pretty sure I'm the biggest procrastinator in the entire world. I hate it.
I'm sorta worried about my money situation for the summer. The research position I got is credit based so I'm not getting paid for that. I'm taking spring classes and I think I owe like 300 bucks and the job that I am getting paid I had to cut the hours because of the research job. Its all so frustrating. I wish people would just give me money for being alive. :) haha
I miss Tony. I feel like I haven't really seen him in DAYS. Mostly because I've been "studying" and even more mostly because he's been working a lot these past few weeks. I just want some days with him. I can't wait till I'm done with Exams and we can just have some time for him and I. I can't wait.
I am going to go force myself to do some practice exams. Later
I don't know what is up with me lately. I've been having the strangest dreams in the world and I wake up and actually feel like they have happened. Physically even. Like the other night I had this dream that for some reason I had to climb this HUGE sand dune and it was taking me forever. People were screaming for me to climb faster and I just couldn't do it. I woke up and felt worn out and my legs KILLED. It was strange.
I haven't really been sleeping too well either. That may have to do with some of the strange dreams, but more its because olga is fricken annoying and all she wants to do is sit in my room and complain about her ex boyfriend that dumped her over a month ago. I have a ton of shit to get done and I tell her that but she doesn't care she just keeps talking and talking and talking. Its fricken annoying.
So for the past few days I've just come home closed my door and locked it and got stuff done. Then once I have a reasonable amount done I'll come out, cook some dinner, and get ready for bed. When she starts to talk to me I act extremely exhausted and then say that i'm gonna go to bed. I know this is like a bitch move, but I'm just exhausted and can't take hearing the same exact story over and over again.
UGOASJFLDJ
Later.
