Tony passed his EMT and got his state license, and now he is going to be working on the Ambulance. I am so proud of him and SO happy for him because he is doing what he wants and he is REALLY happy right now. He will be having so much more fun than he has while he is in dispatch and now he is planning on applying to HVA and other ambulance companies. So that's exciting. I am very very excited for him.
Tony is now going to be working 24 hours "every change [he] can get". That leaves me... at home, alone, and bored out of my mind. I have a feeling this is going to cause me to gain like 200 lbs. Being at home all the time alone with no one to cuddle with me before i go to sleep is going to be very very hard. I feel so selfish, but I actually cried when he told me he got his license and was going to work tonight. I wasn't crying because I was happy either, well maybe a little, but I was mostly crying because that leaves me alone after 7 pm, home alone and with nothing.
My friends are all doing their own thing. Becca is with Eric every chance she gets, Mal living in ann arbor, Steph's always gota work late and I'm pretty sure Jac is camping or out of town right now. I know i should be excited that I get some me time, but for the past few days I've been reallly needy toward Tony. Maybe that's why he's volunteering himself to work an ungodly amount of hours this week and next and the next. I don't know. I really should quit worrying about this.
I work a ton, and I work all the time when Tony has days off. He's gota stay here while I live in Ann Arbor. I really am the one that sorta just left him here and did what made me happy. I guess that's what he is doing and I am 100 percent supportive of what he does, I just hate being alone and I'm very selfish and a bad person because I don't want to left him go. Uggg... I miss him already and I doubt that I'll see him today.
Well I need to go get ready for my low class dead beat job. I''ll be there for seven hours. Its located in Swartz Creek, so If you want come kill me, rob the place.. I don't mind. At least then it wouldn't be so boring.
Later
-JRA
I think that I'm getting sick of summer. I don't like going to work day after day and watching the time where I could be doing whatever I want or sleeping go out the drive thru window. It sucks.
I had the day off today though. I felt so much better after i woke up this morning. After about 10 hours of sleep in my very comfortable bed, I feel like I could run a marathon and then probably go back to bed. lol. :)
I finally got the phone i ordered today in the mail. Its alright, sure was used, but whatever its nice and i guess for fifty bucks thats what i get.
I am going to A&W tonight with Tony for dinner. I'm excited, I haven't been there in a while. It is good and Tony and I haven't been out to Flushing in a while. Then tomorrow we both have the day off and we are going to go to Ann Arbor. Hopefullly.
I miss Ann Arbor so much. I miss being on my own and having the day to me. I miss going to class and coming back and doing homework. I miss all the people in Ann Arbor. I miss all of my commitments and all of the other things that I love to do there. I miss my much loved and missed weekend in Ann Arbor with Tony. I miss it.
I just want to go back.
Ann Arbor is this place where everything is practically perfect. When I am in Ann Arbor I feel free and in total control of my life. That's where I want to be all the time and it seems like being in Swartz Creek for the summer has made this more and more evident that I don't belong here. I don't feel like me when I'm here, and really all that is here is my family and Tony. I don't mind coming home to visit, but living here is not something that I can stand for very long.
I keep telling myself its only 3 more months. But three months is quite a long time. Its a long time when daily you have to go into McDonalds and work. Its a long time when all you can dream about is all the fun you've ever had in Ann Arbor. Its along time when you have to live with your parents and they won't let you have the freedom that you do when you are on your own. I guess I just have to keep my head above the surface and breathe. It will be over soon and I will be back in my home and back to doing my own thing.
I hope that this year is better than last year. I have to do better in all of my classes and I am taking quite the load this semester. 18 credits, 3 EECS classes, a 400 level math class and... sick, i don't know if I will be able to keep up with all of it, but I'm going to have to. Its scary.
I sorta feel old these days. I was down in Ann Arbor with my friends last night. We were planning on having an awesome night, but we just sat around and watched the rain. I feel like in the last like almost 2 years we've gotten so old. It also kind of hit me when we were in Cedar Point and our bodies hurt after every thrill ride we went on. I guess i'm not 16 anymore and I am not invinciable. I am just, well, getting old. I mean I'm only 20 years old so I'm not really old, but I'm feeling myself get older before I really want to even be older. Weird.
I have to go to McDonalds in a hour and a half... and I have to stay there for six hours. I don't know if i can do it. It makes me sort of want to puke. Its boring and hot. There is almost never working air in the building. I was informed the other day that our air conditioning system is controlled by a place outside of the store. Is that weird to you? Is your home air system controlled by some one else? Some place where you can't just go change it your self? Is it controlled by a place that never picks up its phone? yeah well Your house isn't called McDonalds and you are not a crazy person.
I am gonna go. good Bye.
