Post Grad

I'm still so torn up inside. I want this to all go away. I feel like it will get better, but it's gonna take time.

I thought he was going to leave me this weekend. He just didn't seem like he had any love left this weekend. It got better and I did start to feel better but just to feel that horrid feeling of being so close to him just leaving was the worst feeling ever.

I miss him so much. I miss every time he ever smiled at me and was truly in love with me. I want to be that way again. It hurts more than anything I've ever experienced in my life. I felt my body rip and my heart just sink to the floor.

I can't even begin to explain to him how sorry I am. I can't. I really wish I could take everything back. But I can't And I'm just going to have to fix this. I just need some strength. And some time and patients. Things can get better. I know.

I just hope he wants to. I hope he's still in love with me because i love him more than I think I ever did. It almost hurts and make so I can't breathe. I just want everything in our lives to be wonderful.

He needs his space and I need to stop being so pushy. We need our time alone away from each other and I understand this so I'm not going to push my to come here or whatever because He can do whatever he wants. He's an adult. I just want out life together, but I realize he's not totally ready to just pull himself out and move here. He lives here for the better part of the week, but I suppose he wants to some alone time to. I guess that will be good for me too. :(

I want my babenheim back. He'll be back I just need patients.